Sweet Tea, Advocacy and Me

IGBOK. IGBOK stands for 'it's gonna be okay.' Basically, it's ALL of the anti-anxiety, anti-depressant and calming essential oils put together.  I'm waiting to calm overcome me.....waiting....still waiting....*sigh* So, I'll wrap myself up in my robe and imagine it's God's warm and cozy arms of peace and serenity wrapping around me.  Now Lord, let's chat..... Where do I begin Lord?  I guess I'll start with thankfulness in hopes it'll help me zoom out to view the big picture here.  You are so merciful and patient with me. You've proven to be The Provider of all good things and yes, Your timing is perfect, not mine. You've given me so many blessings, so many I do not deserve in the least.  You have sought me out. I'm bought by Your blood and have Your Spirit dwelling in my heart.  The life I'm living is part of my eternal.  The man I vowed my life to, that loves unconditionally and more every day and is an amazing provider and...

'and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,     to be self-controlled,  pure,  working at home, kind, and  submissive to their own husbands,  that the word of God may not be reviled.'-Titus 2:4-5 What God calls us to do is never an easy path.  Many people will say the above Biblical reference 'isn't relative to today's society.'  I strongly disagree. That's like saying God's original and holy intention of marriage between a man and woman has now somehow changed because our society and culture have changed.  Since when does God's Word change and/or adapt?  Never.  Back to the part about God's calling is never the easy path. Yea, that's definitely been the case for me but I had a nice reassurance last night at Bible study I'm certainly not alone.   I'm not alone when my selfishness rears its ugly head and I can't help but continue to think that man, would it be nice to have a nanny or to ...

I just watched a video of a mother who spoke about 'ordinary days.'  You know, those days that seems to last forever because the baby woke up too many times last night, it's raining yet again and you don't want to  leave the house, the five year old is way too hyper for my own lack of energy and motivation, you feel like you're going to break down in tears from the dishes, laundry, clutter and dirty floors screaming at you.  You know, those days? In fact it feels so rare to not  have an 'ordinary day.'  Maybe that's why I like the slightest change in life.  Heck, even switching around the furniture in the living-room excites me. But life is in deed filled with 'ordinary days' and all of the sudden my 'baby' isn't an infant any more and my daughter is turning into a little lady.  That newborn cry is gone and now the five-year-old likes to have alone time and asking questions like, 'How are girls and boys different?'  Why is...

'Mommy, I had a dream. I was holding my Bible and telling people about God. My Bible, me and other people who had Jesus in their heart were colorful. The people who said, 'No! I dont want God in my heart' were grey, not colorful.' Doesn't this ring true if you think about it? Looks like our prayer of Emery having an understanding of God beyond her years is starting to be answered. Another little story. Emery insisted that Neal and I were children. I explained that once you're 18 you're an adult but she kept pressing that matter. She won our 'disagreement' with the statement, 'No, Mommy. If you have Jesus in your heart you are a child of God!' 

If you get disgusted easily about bodily functions then please don't proceed reading this post  ;)  I can assure you though that it's two little but cool stories of how revealed Himself to me in ways that are not big or conventional.  It's about sickness (and it's repercussions and my son's bowel movements). For you brave ones ready to read here we go.... I couldn't decide if I wanted to make this post public or not. After all, it's about my children's poop LOL  But, this blog is to journal how God proves Himself to me , my faith journey, and after talking to two friends about whether or not to blog it they said I should so here I am. Recently Emery, my five-year-old, got the stomach bug and ended up with diarrhea which ended up in a painfully sore bottom :(  What's this have to do with God?  Neal and I have been talking to her day in and day out about how God loves for us to talk with Him, that we are His children, that He cares abo...

The Lord blessed me today. Let me rephrase that, He blesses me more then I deserve but today He sent a blessing that normally I would have overlooked. He sent me a reassurance, when one was much needed. Why did He do this? Because I'm loved by my Abba Father and He cares for me. Last night I had that new mom breakdown. That moment in time when you're baby won't stop fussing, screaming, squirming, won't start sleeping and therefore you just collapse in a chair and cry because you imagined the second child would be easier, you imagined you would have this newborn thing down the second time around.  The exhaustion has finally set in and I was overwhelmed. It's that moment you know you love your child and are beyond thankful to the Lord for this precious gift but it doesn't mean it's not a tough season-a season that only lasts a few months but at the time seems like forever. And then you get that mommy guilt for even feeling that way.  All you mamas know what...

I just experienced a moment that can not repeat itself. A moment where nothing else can compare or come close. When discussing things we should praise God and thank Him for Emery's response was: -For giving me the Mommy & Daddy He gave me -For giving us the things we need to live (she stressed live vs want) -The most important one Mommy, for Jesus being in my heart This is exactly what I've been praying for her to experience from the moment I knew God formed her in my womb. That she would know God, believe in Him and just have faith both in her mind and heart, starting at a young age.

It has officially hit me, cabin fever and the fear of not being anything else other than a exhausted milking-machine  ;-)   All I'm feeling is normal of course, such as: Why won't my sick newborn sleep!?! Is he still breathing? What habits am I forming with him now to just get some sleep that I'm going to have to battle later? You've got to be kidding me, it's time to nurse again? Oh my goodness, is that what I look like? *staring in the mirror* Then there are the concerns my type A personality keeps drilling over: My floors, they need to be cleaned. When was the last time they were steam cleaned? What can I give away to make this apartment seem bigger for six more months? Geez, I thought I had laundry before a newborn! Where is my magic fairy godmother that specializes in house cleaning/organization for a neat-freak, germaphobe like me? So many things for me to easily stress about, unfortunately it comes naturally for me but I've go...

"My peace I give to you” John 14:27 God is in control of everything. Without this assurance, the world is a scary place. He loves me and will see me through every circumstance, no matter how difficult or painful it may be. To have Christ’s peace, I must surrender my life to Him. When I hold onto my ways and plans, I’ll experience turmoil. I have a limited perspective and understanding of my circumstances and God’s purposes for allowing them. His goals for me are greater than my immediate comfort. The Lord promises to work all things out for my good. He is continually working to transform my character into Christ’s image. I must live in sync with God, walking in the Spirit and promptly confessing and repenting of sin. Scripture is my foundation for peace. It increases my trust in the Lord’s goodness, assures me that He keeps His promises, and reminds me of His sovereignty over every situation. If we should hold on to any form of comfort on this side of heaven it should...

' Mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you.' -Jude 1:2 This frigid first day of winter of 2012, Dec 21 I'm seated on my couch wrapped up in a warm cozy blanket.  The things that surround me are my five-year-old daughter twirling around asking if she looks like a princess. Sitting to my left is my amazing husband -of whom we've truly been through better or for worse in our short 11 years together-is watching a sermon in his past time and taking care of my every beck and call as I recover from surgery.  In front of me is our beautiful Christmas tree with ornaments that remind us of where/and what we've come from and this year we are blessed enough to have an abundance of gifts under the tree for each other.  And sitting to my right, is a precious 6-day-old baby boy, Jude Allen.   It was December 21, 2011, exactly a year ago today, that we had a little one go from this world to Jesus' arms in Heaven.  You can read the post I wro...

Yesterday I was a little burdened, in a healthy way, about how Neal and I can continue make God real to Emery. I want to make sure we don't create God to be a small god, who is stuck in a box, powerless, that rules with an iron rod and lacks the ability of relation with His children on earth. I know that only God himself and the Holy Spirit can truly reveal themselves to Emery but as her parents we have the responsibility and privilege to express to her, teach her and represent the Trinity in a way that is real to her.  Lately I've been wondering if all of our talk about God and Jesus are really sinking in and if we are being a good enough example to her, after all, actions speak louder then words.  God answered my heart's curiosity this morning by this short conversation :) 'Mommy? Can I write a message?' 'Of course Emery!'  After a few minutes of scribbling in her journal she walked her letter over to me and told me she'd like to read i...