'Love their husbands and children...'

'and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.'-Titus 2:4-5

What God calls us to do is never an easy path. 

Many people will say the above Biblical reference 'isn't relative to today's society.'  I strongly disagree. That's like saying God's original and holy intention of marriage between a man and woman has now somehow changed because our society and culture have changed.  Since when does God's Word change and/or adapt?  Never. 

Back to the part about God's calling is never the easy path. Yea, that's definitely been the case for me but I had a nice reassurance last night at Bible study I'm certainly not alone.  

I'm not alone when my selfishness rears its ugly head and I can't help but continue to think that man, would it be nice to have a nanny or to just have a full-time career so I can have some time to myself, for myself.  I'd love to continue my career in real estate or even better, staging real estate.  It would be nice to have a double income. I can't imagine what it would be like to have an adult conversation every day.

I love my kids but do I struggle with staying at home. Yup, pretty much every day for the last 2 weeks it seems.  I'm a very sarcastic person but there is no hint of sarcasm (if you can believe that coming from me) that I feel like I'm on the brink of the loony bin here!  

My two girlfriends and I are reading 'Desperate. Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breath' by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson and meeting weekly for a discussion.  During this time we share our struggles, and boy is it good to know I'm not the only one who struggles. But what I find so edifying and encouraging is that God has placed these two beautiful ladies in my life that are choosing to live out Titus 2 alongside me.  I'm so very thankful for many other ladies in my life that have chosen the challenging path and living out their calling as Titus 2 states. 

I'm not in this battle alone.  It's a battle alright.  It's a battle over my selfishness, a battle over my children's hearts and souls.  I'm the caregiver, teacher and primary means of discipleship of my children. Does this sound easy? No, in no way. In fact, it's terrifying at times ;)   But this is where the beauty of living by the Holy Spirit begins and living in my own fleshly ability dies.