Now What? Narcissists.
How should someone process the blinders that were ripped off their eyes exposing the truth that's complex and scary?
It's like someone snuck up behind, ripped off the eye mask on the brightest day, ever. Up until this time, the blinders have been on but every once and a while someone would lift the flap just enough to see the light of the sun but only for a second or it would hurt the eyes. It's like when you become accustomed to the dark and you can only stand so much light before your eyes start hurting.
The mask has been ripped off of my mind and my heart. The light is now in all it's glory and beauty which truth, which is always beautiful, but it still hurts my eyes because of the shock between darkness to light. Don't get me wrong, the truth is always better than sitting in darkness, lack of truth.
But exactly how do you process the knowledge that the seed you came from is text-book narcissistic? How can one deal with the painful knowledge that their own father doesn't care about how they feel? How should a daughter process that everything that she just spent two weeks writing, very carefully, truthfully and strategically, isn't actually how she feels? In his mind, he can tell me how I feel because as far back as I can remember, I've always been told how I feel. How should a daughter process that every hurt he's ever caused her as being totally denied? It's as if he has the eraser of time and has gone back and erased it all from his memory. That's the problem. The issue has dissolved, conveniently, from his mind but not mine....because these things actually happened. I have witnesses.
How is someone supposed to process that the very person they've tried so hard to not become, thinks they're jealous of them and just want to be like them? Go ahead and think that if you'd like man, it couldn't be further from the truth. This is the one I can let go of most though. Yea, sure....you go ahead and make yourself feel better ;)
How is a daughter supposed to allow the truth that all of the interactions and spiteful experiences from the past fifteen years has stemmed from narcissism? True narcissism. I mean, she's been told before that he sounds like he's a narcissist but that's different from actually discovering the truth so harshly.
So....now what? Now is moving on in light and in the truth which can hurt at times but it always beautiful because it's, well...truth.
Here's to viewing every negative interaction from the past fifteen years through a new lens. Here's to hopefully finding God's redemption in it all, one day....God, please!
It's like someone snuck up behind, ripped off the eye mask on the brightest day, ever. Up until this time, the blinders have been on but every once and a while someone would lift the flap just enough to see the light of the sun but only for a second or it would hurt the eyes. It's like when you become accustomed to the dark and you can only stand so much light before your eyes start hurting.
The mask has been ripped off of my mind and my heart. The light is now in all it's glory and beauty which truth, which is always beautiful, but it still hurts my eyes because of the shock between darkness to light. Don't get me wrong, the truth is always better than sitting in darkness, lack of truth.
But exactly how do you process the knowledge that the seed you came from is text-book narcissistic? How can one deal with the painful knowledge that their own father doesn't care about how they feel? How should a daughter process that everything that she just spent two weeks writing, very carefully, truthfully and strategically, isn't actually how she feels? In his mind, he can tell me how I feel because as far back as I can remember, I've always been told how I feel. How should a daughter process that every hurt he's ever caused her as being totally denied? It's as if he has the eraser of time and has gone back and erased it all from his memory. That's the problem. The issue has dissolved, conveniently, from his mind but not mine....because these things actually happened. I have witnesses.
How is someone supposed to process that the very person they've tried so hard to not become, thinks they're jealous of them and just want to be like them? Go ahead and think that if you'd like man, it couldn't be further from the truth. This is the one I can let go of most though. Yea, sure....you go ahead and make yourself feel better ;)
How is a daughter supposed to allow the truth that all of the interactions and spiteful experiences from the past fifteen years has stemmed from narcissism? True narcissism. I mean, she's been told before that he sounds like he's a narcissist but that's different from actually discovering the truth so harshly.
So....now what? Now is moving on in light and in the truth which can hurt at times but it always beautiful because it's, well...truth.
Here's to viewing every negative interaction from the past fifteen years through a new lens. Here's to hopefully finding God's redemption in it all, one day....God, please!
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