A word from God

"Jess,
Consider these things in my Word that I've put in your way right now....  Am I enough for you?"  -God



Psalm 37:3-7
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the LORD,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
 5 Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
   your vindication like the noonday sun.
 7 Be still before the LORD
   and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
   when they carry out their wicked schemes.

To me God just wants me to keep on doing good, trusting Him when I don't understand, when the pain/fears seem to outweigh the good that can be measured in this life. Right now I see God has brought us through stuff by being by our side and teaching us.  In some ways I think I just expect God to deliver me/us of stuff.  More then likely that's not His plan, His plan or our promised land is to go through these thing and have Him be enough.  Not count on other things that will perish or fade. 

Proverbs 16:9
 9 In their hearts humans plan their course,
   but the LORD establishes their steps.

In my eyes this verse means just what has happened, we plan our own course but things don't work out.  I need to be at peace with this and see how God can use it for His good and our good.  I want God to be proud of me, at the end of my life, I want Him to be all I need/desire, not the things of this world.  I want Him to say to me "well done good and faithful servant."  But I feel like I've done nothing but fail, or just not succeed I guess is how to explain it better.  There, that's the problem, it's all on the "world's terms" or I'm thinking of the flesh and not of the spirit.  The flesh leads to death, living by the spirit leads to life.  I feel like the past couple of weeks I've been doing a lot better at living by the spirit, this was just a hiccup today and I need to forgive myself of that.  I need to not expect perfection from myself.  

1 Peter 5:6-7
 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

In due time-ha!  I've just started to grasp the concept that  God's timing is not my timing and this hurts.  The control freak in me feels boxed in and terrified.  I know that ultimately His timing is better but my pea-sized brain can't die to my flesh...again the whole living by flesh vs. spirit.  And the obviously....anxiety/fear, the things I expressed today, are not from God.

Lord, 
Transform my mind.  Remind me that it's okay if I fail, that Your grace covers that.  Remind me that if you give me grace then I should do the same for myself.  I just desire to be your servant and these trials or storms are your way of forming me and ultimately I'm thankful for your hands shaping my world, my heart, my mind and my life for your glory.  
Amen

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tas Philas

Luke 15:8-10 is the parable of the lost coin. Verse 9 reads:   'And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors , saying,  'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' From Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself study I've learned in this passage the actual Greek term is tas philas which means 'female friends.'  One of the fruits of the Spirit is love.  Love has many forms from selfish love (eros) to philos love which is defined as 'the love one has toward a friend or companion' to agape love. I find the verbiage in verse 9 very close to my heart because God has clearly placed two ladies in my life who are in fact neighbors.  How we met, our stories of where we came from and how our personalities all blend, support and help stretch our own faith and view points is a gift. I was told by one of these beautiful ladies that I'm 'edgy.'  At first I feared this was a rough corner of my persona
Read more

Today My Husband....

Today, May 20th, 2015, my husband did one of the most courageous things he has ever done. It didn't have anything with being a hero, a Trooper.  He was transparent, admitted he was at rock bottom, admitted he was scared. He did something most men I think would never do due to pride. He willingly got professional help for his law-enforcement induced PTSD. What led him there? A disorder that comes from the enemy himself. It began with evil spirits that are evident at the scenes of a suicide as a Maryland State Trooper.  It started when he walked in on a teenager that had used a shotgun to end his life a few seconds before he arrived to help. It began when he turned his back for a split second to the perpetrator in a domestic violence situation to make sure he was protecting his wife, the victim. In that split second the perpetrator attacked him from behind and started a choke hold and my husband started to black out. It started with someone pointing a gun at him, pointing a knife i
Read more

That Priceless Moment

I just experienced a moment that can not repeat itself. A moment where nothing else can compare or come close. When discussing things we should praise God and thank Him for Emery's response was: -For giving me the Mommy & Daddy He gave me -For giving us the things we need to live (she stressed live vs want) -The most important one Mommy, for Jesus being in my heart This is exactly what I've been praying for her to experience from the moment I knew God formed her in my womb. That she would know God, believe in Him and just have faith both in her mind and heart, starting at a young age.
Read more