Sweet Tea, Advocacy and Me

My heart has ached for a while a place to call home but it's been really difficult lately. A place where my children grow up, make memories, play in our backyard. A place we call home where we can mark yearly our children's grown on the door frame to look back to 30 years later.   I know where ever we live we can make these memories but my heart's desire is for a permanent place, I so tired of moving.  I've moved at least 10 times that I can recall. Yesterday's Jesus Calling devotional read, "This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control.'  I am indeed in need of letting go of lost loved ones and relationships, of possessions (the Holy Spirit revealed I'm making a place of our own an idol-something I'm focusing on way too much).  That last part, that I need to let go of control, is something I'm continually learning and have come a long way on.  It's so easy to open up or make a door o...

Luke 15:8-10 is the parable of the lost coin. Verse 9 reads:   'And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors , saying,  'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' From Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself study I've learned in this passage the actual Greek term is tas philas which means 'female friends.'  One of the fruits of the Spirit is love.  Love has many forms from selfish love (eros) to philos love which is defined as 'the love one has toward a friend or companion' to agape love. I find the verbiage in verse 9 very close to my heart because God has clearly placed two ladies in my life who are in fact neighbors.  How we met, our stories of where we came from and how our personalities all blend, support and help stretch our own faith and view points is a gift. I was told by one of these beautiful ladies that I'm 'edgy.'  At first I feared this was a rough corner of my persona...

'Mommy, I had a dream. I was holding my Bible and telling people about God. My Bible, me and other people who had Jesus in their heart were colorful. The people who said, 'No! I dont want God in my heart' were grey, not colorful.' Doesn't this ring true if you think about it? Looks like our prayer of Emery having an understanding of God beyond her years is starting to be answered. Another little story. Emery insisted that Neal and I were children. I explained that once you're 18 you're an adult but she kept pressing that matter. She won our 'disagreement' with the statement, 'No, Mommy. If you have Jesus in your heart you are a child of God!' 

If you get disgusted easily about bodily functions then please don't proceed reading this post  ;)  I can assure you though that it's two little but cool stories of how revealed Himself to me in ways that are not big or conventional.  It's about sickness (and it's repercussions and my son's bowel movements). For you brave ones ready to read here we go.... I couldn't decide if I wanted to make this post public or not. After all, it's about my children's poop LOL  But, this blog is to journal how God proves Himself to me , my faith journey, and after talking to two friends about whether or not to blog it they said I should so here I am. Recently Emery, my five-year-old, got the stomach bug and ended up with diarrhea which ended up in a painfully sore bottom :(  What's this have to do with God?  Neal and I have been talking to her day in and day out about how God loves for us to talk with Him, that we are His children, that He cares abo...

The Lord blessed me today. Let me rephrase that, He blesses me more then I deserve but today He sent a blessing that normally I would have overlooked. He sent me a reassurance, when one was much needed. Why did He do this? Because I'm loved by my Abba Father and He cares for me. Last night I had that new mom breakdown. That moment in time when you're baby won't stop fussing, screaming, squirming, won't start sleeping and therefore you just collapse in a chair and cry because you imagined the second child would be easier, you imagined you would have this newborn thing down the second time around.  The exhaustion has finally set in and I was overwhelmed. It's that moment you know you love your child and are beyond thankful to the Lord for this precious gift but it doesn't mean it's not a tough season-a season that only lasts a few months but at the time seems like forever. And then you get that mommy guilt for even feeling that way.  All you mamas know what...

I just experienced a moment that can not repeat itself. A moment where nothing else can compare or come close. When discussing things we should praise God and thank Him for Emery's response was: -For giving me the Mommy & Daddy He gave me -For giving us the things we need to live (she stressed live vs want) -The most important one Mommy, for Jesus being in my heart This is exactly what I've been praying for her to experience from the moment I knew God formed her in my womb. That she would know God, believe in Him and just have faith both in her mind and heart, starting at a young age.

It has officially hit me, cabin fever and the fear of not being anything else other than a exhausted milking-machine  ;-)   All I'm feeling is normal of course, such as: Why won't my sick newborn sleep!?! Is he still breathing? What habits am I forming with him now to just get some sleep that I'm going to have to battle later? You've got to be kidding me, it's time to nurse again? Oh my goodness, is that what I look like? *staring in the mirror* Then there are the concerns my type A personality keeps drilling over: My floors, they need to be cleaned. When was the last time they were steam cleaned? What can I give away to make this apartment seem bigger for six more months? Geez, I thought I had laundry before a newborn! Where is my magic fairy godmother that specializes in house cleaning/organization for a neat-freak, germaphobe like me? So many things for me to easily stress about, unfortunately it comes naturally for me but I've go...