Sweet Tea, Advocacy and Me

"My peace I give to you” John 14:27 God is in control of everything. Without this assurance, the world is a scary place. He loves me and will see me through every circumstance, no matter how difficult or painful it may be. To have Christ’s peace, I must surrender my life to Him. When I hold onto my ways and plans, I’ll experience turmoil. I have a limited perspective and understanding of my circumstances and God’s purposes for allowing them. His goals for me are greater than my immediate comfort. The Lord promises to work all things out for my good. He is continually working to transform my character into Christ’s image. I must live in sync with God, walking in the Spirit and promptly confessing and repenting of sin. Scripture is my foundation for peace. It increases my trust in the Lord’s goodness, assures me that He keeps His promises, and reminds me of His sovereignty over every situation. If we should hold on to any form of comfort on this side of heaven it should...

' Mercy, peace and love be multiplied to you.' -Jude 1:2 This frigid first day of winter of 2012, Dec 21 I'm seated on my couch wrapped up in a warm cozy blanket.  The things that surround me are my five-year-old daughter twirling around asking if she looks like a princess. Sitting to my left is my amazing husband -of whom we've truly been through better or for worse in our short 11 years together-is watching a sermon in his past time and taking care of my every beck and call as I recover from surgery.  In front of me is our beautiful Christmas tree with ornaments that remind us of where/and what we've come from and this year we are blessed enough to have an abundance of gifts under the tree for each other.  And sitting to my right, is a precious 6-day-old baby boy, Jude Allen.   It was December 21, 2011, exactly a year ago today, that we had a little one go from this world to Jesus' arms in Heaven.  You can read the post I wro...

Every morning I love to read Mars Hill's devotional. Today's was especially meaningful to me, to us. If I could sum up the past couple of years in all of it's lows in the trials it would be the title of todays devotional 'Grace in the Darkness' along with the words 'Lay me low, and keep me there' that is in the poem at the end of devotional. Here is the paragraph that took my breath away in relating to grace in the darkness: 'Real growth in grace is the result of sanctified trials. God often takes away our comforts and our privileges in order to make us better Christians. He trains His soldiers, not in tents of ease and luxury, but by turning them out and using them to forced marches and hard service. He makes them ford through streams, swim through rivers, climb mountains, and walk many a long mile with knapsacks of sorrows on their backs...' "Trials make the promise sweet, Trials give new life to prayer, Trials bring me to His feet, La...

I admit that I've been easily distracted the past two weeks.  Have you ever been in the a test that you never realized you were in until it just exploded in your face?  And at that point you're like, "Oh my gosh! I'm such an idiot, how could I have not seen this?"  I think that I've slipped on living in  and by  the Spirit the past two weeks.  Instead of beating myself up over my sin, making myself pay subconsciously and trying to 'make it up' to God, I'm being wrapped up in His grace. I have recognized the importance of reflecting on my emotions instead of just shoving them down deep inside or all together ignoring them.  So what is it that has had me so distracted?  A house. A place to call home.  Here is the part I sound totally ungrateful and like a child ;) It's been nine or ten years that I've been on my own, as an adult and boy has it been a roller coaster but I wouldn't trade it for anything because the Lord has bee...

Yesterday I was a little burdened, in a healthy way, about how Neal and I can continue make God real to Emery. I want to make sure we don't create God to be a small god, who is stuck in a box, powerless, that rules with an iron rod and lacks the ability of relation with His children on earth. I know that only God himself and the Holy Spirit can truly reveal themselves to Emery but as her parents we have the responsibility and privilege to express to her, teach her and represent the Trinity in a way that is real to her.  Lately I've been wondering if all of our talk about God and Jesus are really sinking in and if we are being a good enough example to her, after all, actions speak louder then words.  God answered my heart's curiosity this morning by this short conversation :) 'Mommy? Can I write a message?' 'Of course Emery!'  After a few minutes of scribbling in her journal she walked her letter over to me and told me she'd like to read i...

'For You have made me rejoice, Lord, by what You have done; I will shout for joy because of the works of Your hands, How magnificent are Your works, Lord, how profound Your thoughts!' Psalm 92:4-5 Sept 4, 2012.   Today was suppose to be a day of significance wrapped up in anxiety and distress. It was a day the enemy worked so hard to pour salt into our wounds and to get us to just give up.  Sept 4, 2012 was suppose to be our appeal date in the State of Maryland.  The state's case was that my husband's Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was not job-related as a Maryland State Trooper.  Today was our fight against the system, it was our opportunity to bring our witnesses, put a face to our name as well as our case.  It was beyond reasoning us (as well as everyone else who knew our story) that they could make such a claim and that they were able to stretch it out over three very painful years.  Pain, frustration, anger, depression, oppression, financial...

I know this post is long but if you read it, it's a story of God's goodness and provision and worth the read all the way through.  He is good! (The writing in gray are some small but very important details I forgot to add last night). If you know Neal, you'll hear him say every once and a while, "I'm pulling the crazy card." That's what I love about my husband, he can make light of his PTSD. Neal's first car had the license plate that read, "JRM 813." So the joke was it meant, 'Jessica Really Makes Haines Absolutely Crazy', each number corresponding to it's place in the alphabet.  Well I think it's official.....this Haines family unit is crazy or seems crazy ;)  And for once I can honestly say I'm fine with how ever we look! (Gal. 1:10). With the help of the Lord I've been able to get a hold of the idol of pleasing people instead of God. Let me rewind to explain why we are writing this post tonight :)  Thin...