Sweet Tea, Advocacy and Me

It's lengthy but every word is worth reading to a weary soul.  The heart that's turning to God with the question, "Why?" Trust me, read this.  This passage is from Lysa Terkeurst's book, "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way." She wrote it one day while journaling. It's not supposed to be prophesy but a dialogue between God and Jesus. Upside Down The Son turned his head and quizzically said, "Hmmm...Father, those are strange words to assign to this life. Can we pick some other words? I have some fantastic suggestions for this one. She's optimistic and strong. She's caring and compassionate. She's good and generous, and she's so very aware of others. She's a deep thinker and a deep feeler all in one. She's so very rare, Father. Yes, she's rare." "I know. And that's why she must be upside down." "Father, as she gets older I don't think she will like that You gave her these words.

This might sound stupid to say but we come across all kinds of people every day. The ones who seem to have it all together. The ones who have endless energy, drive, attention, hope, etc And on the flip-side, we come across those whom we would describe as cold-hearted, depressed, anxious, angry, overwhelmed, etc What are we offering those people who are struggling in our exchanges with them? Help or hurt? Compassion or condemnation? Condemnation: censure, reprimand, disapproval, judgment, acusation  Compassion: empathy, sympathy, tenderheartedness, mercy, consideration When we interact with someone, are we listening to what they're saying? I mean, really saying without words? Are we watching their body language? Are we looking them in the eyes, willing to look past their outer shell? Are we trying to see the condition of their heart and look past the mask? Are we looking for ways we can support them, show them true love, let them know they're worth love, attentio

No, that blog title isn't some positive statement saying that I stop to smell the roses or stop to notice the sunset every night, the sunrise, etc Or that, it's those little things that bring true, pure joy in life that keep me going amidst this time between the two gardens (Eden and the New Heaven). Nope, it's the little things that this past year, I'd normally chalk up to 'synchronicity of the universe' or, what I used to call 'God stops.' 'God stops' being when God just grabs your attention.  Why the two universes of thought you may wonder? Because I'm in a major faith struggle, the biggest one of my 34 years if I'm being honest.  Up until this point, the people closest to me would say my faith and trust in God is strong, encouraging even and I'd have to agree actually. My faith has been the only thing that's gotten me through life's curve balls, disappointments, challenges, heartaches, whatever you want to call them. 

Sometimes it's just easier to focus on the negative than the positive but if I'm honest, the first half of 2018 was good but I feel the need to point out the good that God DID do. We found the kids a private Christian school to put them in and it's been a God-send to all of us. Would I love to not have to pay for school, of course, but I just can't bring myself to send my children to public school, especially in the N.E. In fact, for me personally, the school is the only reason I'm still living up here.  The second good thing that happened in the first half of the year is that we moved into our new home - back up North - January 3, 2018, which is exactly the date we moved down to TN, 7 years previously ;) Kinda cool how that worked out.  It seemed God's hand was in every detail of selling our dream home in TN and moving us up here.  The first half of the year brought redemption.  That's the word the Lord laid on my heart for this move back up North.  H

How should someone process the blinders that were ripped off their eyes exposing the truth that's complex and scary? It's like someone snuck up behind, ripped off the eye mask on the brightest day, ever.  Up until this time, the blinders have been on but every once and a while someone would lift the flap just enough to see the light of the sun but only for a second or it would hurt the eyes. It's like when you become accustomed to the dark and you can only stand so much light before your eyes start hurting. The mask has been ripped off of my mind and my heart.  The light is now in all it's glory and beauty which truth, which is always beautiful, but it still hurts my eyes because of the shock between darkness to light.  Don't get me wrong, the truth is always better than sitting in darkness, lack of truth. But exactly how do you process the knowledge that the seed you came from is text-book narcissistic? How can one deal with the painful knowledge that their o

 'The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?' -Jer. 17:9 My heart tells me that I'm alone and that no one in my life could possibly understand.  It reminds me that the past relives itself and leads me to believe that turmoil is my destiny.  My heart leads me to build walls, to not let anyone in.  It keeps me looking back, comparing what I did have within my grasp at once but can't seem to find again.  My heart is like a wild animal, caged or a reed being blown violently in a hurricane.  BUT Your Word says that I can not live by my heart or emotions. Oh, how I have failed you at this my Father but I know you'll cover it in Your Grace.   Help me to replace the loneliness with your constant, the anger and sin with your good and the fearfulness with your Sovereignty.   It's the belief in the truth that you'll never forsake me that has got me through before.  You're the only true good, help